1. Cooperation: I am looking for experienced researchers who would like to work with me together on research. Preferably with knowledge of SPSS/R and experience with publishing.
  2. Send articles: Next to giving relationship therapy, I also write. Mostly columns. It would be my pleasure to give attention to your paper in one of my columns or use them as a reference in my own paper. Let’s get CNM on the map with science.
  3. Research 1: Do kids want to know? My poll on the Dutch pages, reveals that half of the open relationships keep it anonymous to the outside world (so they are only open to each other). The other half is not only open to each other, but also open to the outside world. One of the topics I can’t find anything about is whether children want to know if their parents have an open relationship. The questionnaire I made myself is still in Dutch and needs to be translated into English.
  4. Research 2: CNM is not a contra-indication within EFT Explorative study. I started this research after a talk with a professor at the University of Amsterdam. Result: 73% of the couples were together when they left. It also made me realize that if I had given my couples some questionnaires, I could have done more than determine how many couples I had had, how often they had come, what the frequency was and if they were still together.
  5. Research 3: ECR, ARE, DAS, Jealousy, lovers etc. See nr.4. Quantitative research. All the couples in my practise are invited to fill in some questionnaires. This has just recently started. My aim is to do this will all the couples I have (Netherlands, Belgium, France, UK, USA etc.). I don’t have a control group yet. But I intend to reach them through poly-cafes. Maybe through Facebook. But a small research I did on jealousy already revealed, how hard it is to get the jealous partner on board. So I guess face-to-face is a better strategy.
  6. Research 4: How do we look back on our/their open relationship: Everyone who has, or has had an open relationship, feel free to contact me. When I started I was looking for elderly people. The first one who contacted me, was an elderly man, who spoke in a beautiful way about his triad with another woman and man. But when I asked if I could interview this other woman and man, he didn’t think that was a good idea. It is hard to get all persons involved on board. But this is the level we need. I hope when you read this, and you are (or have been) in an open relationship, please contact me. When I started on Twitter 7 years ago, there were so many enthusiastic polyamorous people talking about loving more and compersion. When I tried to contact them 7 years later, nearly all of them were gone. Some within 3 to 4 years. It’s an illusion to think CNM is an easy relationship form. So it is time that we learn to deal with it, but that means, that we need all experiences, of all the participants involved in the open relationship, so the next generation can learn from us.

If you want to contact me:
Twitter: @open relations
Instagram: @myrardarens
Call: +31 (0)6 4158 7202
You can also go to the contact form: click here